-How i got to earth~3

The ship vibrated and groaned and after producing a cacophony of noises that would put an elephant to shame,took of,hovering a foot from the ground.It progressed down the tunnel,the lights throwing into relief the numerous gashes on the walls which were the result of numerous failed takeoffs(?).My hearts pumped frantically as the craft silently slid into place in the launch bay.A few seconds later,the little ship began to vibrate as the thrusters powered up.The energy readings were off the scale...if this worked,life would never be the same again.My thoughts came back to the dimly lit cockpit of the craft as the computer asked for permission to take off...tapping in the right commands,i waited in silence for the familiar jerk as the craft took off...it never came.Instead,i was thrown off my seat as the whole craft shuddered violently.Pulling myself off the floor and onto the seat,i looked out the dome.

Nothing.Absolutely nothing...

I was in space.Frantically,i checked my comm. systems.They were damaged and so were the godawful navigation systems.What had i got myself into???The cockpit glowed a dim red from the error messages that popped up every few seconds.The nav. systems screamed that the craft was directed towards a planet not very far away.I vaguely remember being told that it was called earth(of all the planets to crash into...).Tired,i drifted off to sleep.When i awoke,earth loomed large and the computer was screaming at me to correct my course to avoid being turned into space goo by satellites(what ever in hell they were).I was captivated,for a moment by what i saw before me...The great blue ball hanging before me was breathtaking;The blue broken up by strands of white and patches of green and brown.I knew that come what may,i would never forget this sight.That moment was enough for the tiny craft to slam into a satellite(ohhhh...that's what it is) and plunge careening into the atmosphere of the planet looming larger before me every second.As i plummeted toward the surface of this planet i expected my life to start flashing before my eyes any second,but it didn't happen(DAMN IT!!!).I would have loved to be treated to a movie on my life but i guess there was more tape left.The craft(with me in it) burst into a white,fluffy patch of cloud.The hull started to heat up.Warnings popped up all over the computer screen.80 degrees...95 degrees...125 degrees...the temperature kept rising.All around me was a dense white white mist.Suddenly,i burst out of the cloud and got my first glimpse of the ground.It was densely covered by grey squares which i guessed were settlements,hopefully,i would crash into one of them and end up killing loads of the lifeforms that lived there.but i knew that was too much to ask for.The arcid stench of burning plastic filled the cockpit and suffocated me.I shot past what seemed to be a long conical cloud,except for funny pink-skinned creatures staring from clear patches in the cloud(i would later find out that it was called a plane,how primitive).The ugly pink-skins seemed surprised.Pushing them out of my mind,i pushed the big red button on the side of my seat...a tentacle lingering for a second over it,wondering if it was wise to eject in an unknown planet's atmosphere...but i NEVER did anything wise...

A second later,the craft righted itself in mid air and i was blasted from it,propelled by a jet pack on the on the back of the seat.I rose a few meters before the jet pack coughed,sputtered and died.I plummeted through the atmosphere again.Parts of me being ripped off my body by the sheer force of the wind.By the time i was about 200 feet above the ground,i was reduced to a speck of green goo(hence the name).My brains had shrunk to adapt to my size.I hit the ground and bounced a few times,landing in a depression in the ground.I ached all over,tiny tentacles popped out of my body and i started to move forward,but i felt a force propelling me until i smacked into a transparent barrier with a splat.I carefully peeled myself off the barrier and clung to it.I cautiously moved sideways,and fell yet again into space.I was whipped around by the same force i had felt earlier and noticed a white device with three evil looking blades whirling round and round(i later discovered that it was called a fan).I landed on the ground again,except,this time,something heavy immediately crashed on top of me.I felt the juices being squeezed out of me as i was compacted to an unimaginable degree...and then ,i passed out.

When i woke,i felt strange,like someone had dumped me in a vat of glue.I tried to move but felt suffocated.It was as if the air had solidified.Then,i realised that i was in water.Moisture helps us martians to regenerate so,understandably,i was happy.I sat there and waited for it to finish wondering what i was going to become...martians adapt to their surroundings by taking different forms.We have no control over what we become.Finally,it was over...i crawled out of the pool of water and setled down for another long wait.I dozed off before long...

When i awoke,i saw two pink-skins peering down at me.I felt wierd.I had only two eyes and four limbs...I had become a pink-skin.The two i had seen earlier took me home...and here i am,stuck...

-Home planet~

Heylo people,my name is Xerd-392.I am an intelligent(highly so) life form from mars.
In this human 'blog' i shall attempt to narrate my experiences on mars and here on 'earth',in the hope that you will die of boredom and hence making it easier for my race to take over and colonise this pitiful blue ball that you call 'earth'.My being here is completely accidental and unintended.In my posts,you shall read of my attempts at world domination and the (slightly)pitiful state i have been reduced to by you humans.You shall also be granted access to my views on the issues of 'earth's' today.I am wasting a considerable amount of time,typing out this and therefore demand that my efforts be acknowledged by means of comments(even bad ones).
I sign off(not very peacefully)...
xerd-302~

-How i got to earth~1.

September 1st,1992(earth time)-
It was an unusually cold night,as i slithered back to my burrow,skillfully manouvering in the small gaps between the multitude of life forms,all crawling,walking,flying and slithering to their burrows.Potato shaped Deimos and Phobos were high in the martian sky which was awash with the same crimson colour as the soil.I went slowly,the red,iron rich soil nourishing me as i went.
As i approached the cleverly concealed hole in the ground(which was my burrow)...i noticed something gleaming in the dust.I stooped and picked it up.It was one of those metal coated cylinders that those idiots from venus had sent over the other week,they were literally raining down on us.Being a late riser,i didn't manage to get one.Every self-respecting martian had one of these...it was a really good power source(and i heard that it made good eating when cooked the right way).Snorting my delight,i carried it inside,wondering if i could use it to power my ship.
+++ Depositing the ore i had collected earlier into the pot which contained the grey slurry that was to be my dinner(it's made from the worms that we cultivated),i walked to the box where i kept my tools.Hefting the box in one long slimy tentacle,i slid over to the adjacent,smaller hole where my transport was parked.
It was nothing really fancy...just your run of the mill faster than light ship.
Now,the problems with that piece of junk were many,but the biggest,by far,was the fuel.It consumed so much power that i couldn't even use it for my every day visits to the grocery store.i pulled out the power compartment and yanked out the goo coated hunk of iridium that i used as the power source(the goo made it easier to slide it in).I neatly deposited the cylinder inside the compartment and slammed it shut.
It would take a while for the ship's onboard computer to recognise the power source since was so freakin' slow(couldnt afford a better one).
I went back into my hole and hastily slurped my dinner and fell asleep with plans for the next day.

-How i got to earth~2

September 2nd,1992(earth time)-
You're propably wondering why highly evolved,intelligent creatures such as us martians who passess FTL technology live in burrows...Well,truth is,i lived on the outskirts of one of the great martian empire's largest cities,situated next to olympus mons(a mountain three times the height of mount everest);The distant skyline crammed with sky-scrapers.I got out of the city to escape the congestion.I woke up the next morning to the loud and inecessicent beeping of the alarm.I yawned,my many tubes undulating.after a quick repast,i hurried to check on the previous night's experiment.As i approached the adjacent burrow,my hearts beat with anticipation;And i dared not hope that it would have worked.
I squeezed through the force field without waiting for it to completely dissolve.My skin stung,but i ignored it and kept going...At the end of the dimly lit tunnel,my ship sat waiting for me.As i approached the rusty saucer shaped vehicle,i gasped in astonishment.The power gauge embedded in the hull was full and what's more,it was green(we have 5 colours on power gauges which indicate the power level of the particular piece of equipment,green was the highest).That was possible only in ships which use dark matter power sources,combined with engines that we spend entire lifetimes fine tuning.
Ever since we first made contact with species from other planets,i had always cherished a desire to visit an alien planet.And now,with this ship i might finally be able to achive.I squealed,clicked and created such an uproar that i was surprised that nobody came to investigate.
Then,all of a sudden,a stray thought popped the bubble of joy in me(literally).
What about the others???Wouldn't they take it away for "the greater good"?I decided right then that i would tell absolutely nobody...this was simply too important and i had waited for too long for something like this to waste such an opportunity.I decided to test drive my craft straight away.Rushing back to my burrow,i grabbed the card key and zipped back to the ship.Swiping the card across the outdated card reader,i hopped in as the glass dome lifted with a hiss and then,solidifying myself,i secured myself to the moulded seat by means of a series of force fields.
I typed in the flight commands and programmed the path for the flight and with a shiver of exictement,confirmed them with a final push of the button.
(For crying out loud!!!What do you earthlings want in return for a few freakin' comments???)